~Vitamin Sea~

Three things I hate, and Two Plastic Solutions

We went back-to-school shopping today.
I hate back to school shopping.
I hate malls, too.
I am so glad it's almost all over with.

Almost.

Oh, another thing I hate:
the first day of school forms.
I hate all of the forms.  I get writer's cramp from them. And why CAN'T we type them out online?

There are 6,000 forms to fill out per child. Thank God I only have one child er, teenager in school today.
In a more perfect world, they'd allow us to register online, give us a password and after it's approved, give the kid a plastic card similar to a Visa card, which scans all their info.  Then we could go online and edit it every year.
Great Idea, Right?

Another thing I hate are coupons.

You know why?  I'll tell ya why.  It's a pain in the butt to cut and collect them, that's why.

Yesterday Buddy got ahold of the white envelop that contains my coupon collection and ate the envelope itself.  The remaining coupons were scattered all over the floor.  Damn dog. Cost me $1.00 off GAIN detergent.

Now, I do love the money saving features of the coupons, but a BETTER method would be another version of my handy visa card above.

Think of this, a plastic card that you can swipe at the cash register that instantly receives the code for every national brand that has a coupon offer in effect.

For example, right now, you can save 25cents on Smuckers All Natural Peanut butter, which is really good if you drain all the oil out, mix with splenda, and then refrigerate for 24 hours to chill throughly.  Oh boy, is that ever good over sliced apples. Full of fiber, too.

But you have to get the coupon out of Buddy's mouth and uncrumble it.  And let's say it's full of dog saliva, or maybe you're already AT the store, but you've forgotten your Smucker's coupon,  or the one you have expired...etc etc etc. 

But let's say that instead, you've registered at a coupon company, which is connected with various national grocery store chains.  Winn Dixie, Publix, Piggly Wiggly, Nellie and Joes, etc.

We'll use Publix, in this example.

You'd simply go to Publix as you usually do, and Publix.. being Publix and all, would have these handy little signs up on the shelves advising you that the peanut butter has a coupon for 25cents off if you use the Coupon Saver card.   You'd then simply put the peanut butter in your cart and move on.

When you get to the cash register, you'd swipe your card, and VIOLA, everything you bought that has a coupon offer on it, is automatically deducted from the total.

Winn Dixie has a similar program, but they don't automatically include every national brand that is offering a coupon.  They only use the specials that they're advertising that particular week.

And I've seen the coupon websites, but this way, you won't have to print up the coupon, which is especially handy when your printer starts flummoxing all over the planet..

That's the beauty of this program. No clipping, no cutting, no digging out of the dog's mouth. Trees are saved, ink is conserved for other uses. You'll never have to remember your coupons again.

Whatcha think about that? 

Diary of Backyard Birder. (Newbie style)

Prologue:

We haven't used a bird feeder over the last 10 years because of our three indoor/outdoor cats.

I've always wanted a feeder. And not one, but several, visible from various windows.

Way back in the early 2000's...we took a chance and put up a big ol' feeder .
The squirrels came running in from all over the county and ate up all the food in one day.
One Single Day.
And over time, they chewed on the edges of the bird feeder itself.
I was incensed.

Years passed.
The cats became old and fat and lazy.
One day, I had a thought.
What if there was less of a spring in their step?
Less of a "booing booing" in their jump?
That would mean they would be less effective hunters!
The birds would have a flying chance!
If only, I thought, the cats would develop cataracts.

My camera was itching.
I decided to go for it.

But first, I bought a squirrel resistant bird feeder.

What follows is a true story.

March, 2008:

Rick and I are in the Home Depot, where I've talked him into helping me build a free-standing post for a bird feeder. I figured the post would be made from a 4x4 fence post, approximately 12 ft. long, and from it, we could attach various hooks to hang up the feeders.
In the garden section, we pass a display of ready made plant hangers, and I notice a 12 ft metal stand with 4 hooks.
I decide to give Rick a break and buy that instead.
Richard looks a little relieved.  No building!

We head to Walmart.  This will be a test run to see how well the feeder resists the squirrels, and I don't want to buy expensive bird feed.
Walmart lets me down. $12 for a big bag!  Remembering the last bag that disappeared in One Day, I reach for the cheaper stuff. 

Back at home,  I order coax Brittany into holding up the feeder in the back yard as I move around the house from the kitchen window to the family room window and back again. 
I just want to make sure I can photograph the site clearly.  Finally I give her thumbs up.

Unfortunately the best place for the feeder is 30 ft from the window.  It's the only place in the yard where the cats can't hide behind something and leap out at the birds.
I'll have to use the zooms. 
And my zoom lens are a mess.  They perform like Windows98 without the Service Pack upgrades and two Trojans to boot.

Richard returns, and frowns as I begin pounding the new feeder post into the ground.  He takes charge so it can be done "properly."   In his mind, there is a logical order to the way things ought to be.  In my mind, things just go up and there you go!

1 Week later: 

Still no birds.

Two weeks later:

Begin checking the pole for signs of cat pee. Maybe Rico is warning them off?
No, that wouldn't make sense.

3 weeks later:

Still nothing.  I am resolute in my determination not to buy fancy bird feed.

Yet. there is a plus... no squirrels!  A bonafide plus.

April:

The doves have moved in, but I'm not impressed.  I am looking for birds of color.
Where are the finches?
I have no idea that the mourning doves will soon make me smile.
The ring neck doves have arrived and have begun chasing the mourning doves away.  I have decided to sic Rico on the ring necks. 
Rico just lays there, doing nothing.

The Middle of April:

I text Rick, Sam and Brittany: "BLUEJAY!" 

I grab the camera, but he is gone.

May:

I am growing tired of the Blue jays.  They visit every day.

Where are all the Other Birds?
Maybe I should give in and get the good seed.

Nah.

At least I figured out a way to photograph the Jay.

First thing to do was to remove the screen from the kitchen window.
Second thing to do was spray a little WD 40 around the edges so I could get the window open quietly.
Third thing to do was tape a sign reminding everyone that the screen was off.
Fourth thing to do was to tune out all the complainers in the house who were whining about the skeeters.

Good grief.

This is my window, and there is my mini-tripod:

Do you see it?  My kitchen tripod is blue, made of heavy glass and easily supports extra long lens.  We are nothing if not decoratively and professionally adept around here.  Simply lean over the sink, balance zoom lens on the glass, steady thyself, focus, aim, SHOOT!  Simple enough. 

(ahem).

Sometime in May,

I text Rick again: "CARDINAL!"
(it only takes one word).
He is actually not very excited.

Unfortunately, I have yet to get a photograph of them. Rick put the screen back on the window.

And by the time I got open, the cardinal was GONE.

June, the first week:

Zoey has finally awakened. 

 

(photo by Brittany)

It occurred to him there has been quite a bit of activity at the feeder lately.
(Took him 3 months to figure it out).

He decided to park himself on the stone wall near the bird feeder.  Then he got a little sleepy in the warm sun.

Out of the blue, a hose rained down on him, blasting him right outta his comfort zone.
Gee, wonder where that came from.

Sometime in June:

I text Rick again:  "PARROTS!"

Richard ain't happy. The local parrots are loud, squawking noise makers. We have several colonies of them around the neighborhood.

I am thrilled.  Photo OP!

Earlier in the week, I had taken the screen back off the window again. Gently, I slide the window open so the parrots won't flee.

Focus, aim.. shoot. No.  Blur... huh? 

Check camera. readjust the dials. 

Focus, aim, ...shooot,  @#@#

Resolve to throw lens at insurance company representatives on their way to work
Run and grab stock lens instead.
Pray.

Parrot is gone. 
%$#@

Parrot comes back. Shoot like mad.
Pray. Edit. Crop.
Here you go!

 

 

I am still holding out for the birds of color to show up for my cheap Walmart bird feed.

Stay tuned!

Oliver and the rest of Florida

Oliver returns, and he is having more fun than you.
Don't forget to click the Previous button at the top of the page.

Blogging has been slow lately as we've just been really busy around here. I am a tad exhausted. Rick is just wiped out. On Saturday morning I plan to sleep very, very late.  At least till eight. 

In the meantime, I have yet another warning on why you shouldn't move to Florida.  Bad enough that we have too many condos, homeowner's associations and scorpions.  But now our pelicans are attacking!
Read the article, I kid you not!  Twenty-five stitches resulted after that dangerous day in the Gulf.

This poor woman was not only attacked by a pelican that mistook her for a fish (ahem), but also, area wildlife conservation agents are complaining that there's not ENOUGH money in the budget for eyesight checks for pelicans.  They will apply for a government grant to study the pelican population and see if there is any danger to the general public.  Y'all might as well stay in Arkansas, what with all the alligators wandering into the kitchens and black bears climbing trees in the city.  It's a tad scary down here in Jungala Florida.  Think I'm making all this up?  Then come on down and move right in!  Just wait'll you meet your local homeowner's insurance agent.  Then you'll know real fear.   

~Back soon!~

Don't Shoot the Messenger

just a note... in case you were worried, or something. Click Here.

Life around here

 

It looks to be a gorgeous weekend in Tampa Bay! We'll be heading out on the boat this afternoon to a small island along the Intracoastal for a color-guard party. It'll be fun and I hope to get some great pics.

Check out our newest Pond Inspector, brought in to assess the situation and determine the best course of action to repair the leaks.

His sidekick checks for drugs and bombs, just in case. So far, the only evidence he can find are heron and coon prints, and a series of suspicious lizard droppings.

Praise for a job well done:

Except....
Rico's diagnosis: use less water and get more fish.

I thought I heard him snicker. 
For some reason he became slightly agitated after I told him we'll be filling the pond up again, and soon.

I consoled him by promoting him to Chief of Security.

(Males.andtheiregos.)

 

The Jonas Brothers LIVE!

Today is Celebrity Tuesday, here on VitaminSea!.  We finally have the long awaited photos of the Jonas Brothers, taping their segment for Disney's Christmas Parade back in December.

Ahem.  Full disclaimer coming, I had no idea who they were when I took these photos.  All I knew is that when they came onto the set, the announcer (Regis?)  introduced the Jonas Brothers and a sea of girls erupted into loud screams and squeals.  So I started shooting.

 

The big guy on the right? I thought that was Big from Rob and Big!  Turns out it's not, my daughters just had to roll their eyes.  I like that show and watch it once in a while, when I happen to be in the room at the same time it's on.   Meaty the Bulldog rocks!  Check it out, yo.

 

You can borrow these photos for your own enjoyment but if I ever see them used in the media for any reason whatsoever, I'll sue your ass till kingdom come. You must contact me first. No exceptions.

Check out my Regis and Kelly  photos from previous Celebrity Tuesdays if you haven't seen them already.

( And, um....that might be it for awhile. I don't often see celebrities around here. 'cept for Hulk, of course.  Did I ever tell y'all  about the time I ran into him?  Oh, my girls are so rolling their eyes now. They've only heard this story 300 times....) 

Greetings from the Voiceless and the Naked Woman

The great Rico Suave, peering off the roof... now we know why.

Good morning dearies!   It is with great pleasure that I bring you the news that I can breathe again!    Breathing, it is something we take for granted,  yes?  As well it should. 

I've fought a sinus war for a month or so, but Sunday it turned into the cold from hell, seizing my vocal cords and rendering me into absolute silence.   I couldn't speak a word, and that was not right.  Everyone thought it was funny that I was attempting to speak in this sort of high pitched squeal, until they got sick, too.  By then, I'd stopped caring what they thought..  We all got sick, courtesy of Brittany, who started it all with fever and laryngitis herself.  She was squeaking around for a full week, causing Rick to laugh uproariously and mimic her, for which he got thwapped upside the head a few times by yours truly, and Britt herself.

Sam came down with it, minus the laryngitis,  and then Richard, who usually beats his chest and announces he never gets sick - so strong is his immune system.  Whatever. 
His denial was such a sad thing to behold   On Tuesday he came home from work and surrendered to fever and chills. 

I am now under the influence of Azithromycin for antibiotics and Entex, to release the greenery and I'm hoping for the best.  And my voice, it hath returned somewhat.  Ahh, to speak some more.

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And now, a naked woman story for your visual reading pleasure:

Our  next door neighbor has a new girlfriend, a slightly heavy-set girl in her late 20's.  On Saturday, while Rick's grandparents were visiting, she happened to walk outside their back door and stripped all her clothes off just as his grandfather walked past the BBQ area of our deck.to peer over into their yard. Off came the top, the bra, her shorts and undies.  Buck naked, she stood to the cold, frigid winds that stirred the Bay area on Saturday afternoon. Then she climbed in the hot tub.

Man, ol 'Gramps didn't know what to make of that.
But he had the biggest, widest  grin on his face for the entire weekend.
You would have thought she'd look around before barring her boobs and butt to the snowbirds.

Three days earlier, he'd hit a hole-in-one on the golf course down in Estero, and got the golf card signed and witnessed by friends.  First hole in one in his life.
I told him there are men that wait their whole lives to experience what he did in three days. 

Some of you are wondering, why did he peer over the fence in the first place?  Well, he always does. He loves landscaping.  A few years ago, my neighbor built a gorgeous pool and hot tub area, complete with an outdoor kitchen that has a covered roof, gas grill, fridge, and a beautifully landscaped yard, with giant palms, winding paths, the whole nine yards.
  It's really something to see. He'll stop by the fence to talk on occasion, and and one year he gave Grandpa a tour of the whole thing. 
He's never offered up live boobs on parade, tho.

*******************************

There's ol Buddy, joining me for the Meme I'm doing for y'all. Details are coming verrrrrrrry soon!
Maybe even today!
Hopefully by tomorrow!
Get your cameras ready, you'll like this one. ;)

Happy V Day. ;)

It's Winter! What are you Thinking!

I know, I know, the new design doesn't have anything to do with winter, or Christmas, or the holidays at all.
Still, I was tired of Typepad's cheesy red and white snowman, which, I thought, was a little scary looking. I didn't like the font either.  They didn't offer any options to change it, and that meant I had to do a Cntrl + every time I came to my own blog.   That ain't right, I tell ya.

So change was imminent. And  I figured, maybe when you're tired of being snowed in, y'all might like to come south for a while. ;)

This is crunch week, lots to get done before Tuesday! Why am I messing with the template? I need to stop checking my email and reading blogs and get to work.
Ricardo wants to plaster the kitchen ceiling tonight.
boy, that sounds like fun. 

I've been up since 6 a.m, had to clean up 3 sections where the cat apparently got sick all over creation. I mopped, mopped and mopped some more,washed the legs of the computer chair where it got all over the wheels, and cleaned the bathroom.
10 minutes later, I smelled cat pee.  And the litter box was clean.   I'm gonna kill the little bugger when I find him.   

By the way, if you're still stumped on Christmas gifts, I've been cruising around gifts.com and they had a few good ideas over there.  Check out their personality tests, you just never know what you'll find.

For those of you who are wracking your brains over what to get certain people that you don't even like, but are otherwise obligated to shop for... China has quite a few products on our market to consider. It just takes longer for the gift to take effect.   bwahahhaha.

Terrible, I know.  but I've been fighting with a template and cat stink all morning...oh what a mooood~ ;)

Yet, it's 45' outside.  FORTY FIVE. (that's big news in Tampa Bay).  Plus it's sunny, beautiful, in spite of all the BS this morning, I'm in a great mood. 

Have y'all made your Christmas cookies yet? What kind are you making?

Regis and Kelly, LIVE!

Here they are, folks, live from Walt Disney World, Florida. 

Here's Regis, waiting for Kelly to stop talking. Look at the camera person on the left:

I was pretty far away, got very lucky with the zoom lens! 

Later that afternoon....an introspective moment.  I didn't realize just how beautiful she is!

Next up, Jessica Simpson and the Jonas Brothers ;)   

The Hair Up There

 

Above, please note the frizzy wheat straws, blowing every which way in the wind.  Next, please note the photo of Phyllis Diller with her legendary hair.  And note, if you will, the similarity between the two. That's what my hair looks like when I come in from a workout in the summer.

The humidity, it is not kind to my hairy follicles.

Oh, I can wear a hat, usually choosing a baseball cap when I go out, but my hair is really stubborn.  Imagine Carrot Top with a baseball cap.
It looks like that.  Except without all the curls.  I have straight/wavy hair, depending on what part of my head you're looking at,  with curls that tend to form around the neckline.  Also, I'm not a red head.
But  I have a lot of hair on this old head of mine.  A LOT of hair.
I've tried putting it in a pony tail but the ends always pull free from the band and spray around of their own accord. I get curly little ringlets soaked with sweat that doesn't really look as sexy as it sounds.

And that is why, when I'm walking down the street after the final workout, soaked with sweat and dripping wet,  I sometimes get the most amused looks from people as they drive by.  Some of them look concerned.  I have the same fair skin as my Dad, so I'm likely to be red faced and flushed from the sun.  The hair loves to annoy me this way and will start frizzing outward to greet the aliens.  I usually get even by beating it with a brush later that day.
It doesn't seem to care.  It is dead, after all, and has no feeling.

Every time I get done with the workout, I take Buddy out for a few minutes to give him a good workout of his own.  And his hair always looks the same, before and after.
It is just so easy to be a dog. And so very hard to be a woman. ;)

Paris Hilton

So, y'all want to discuss Paris?  Best quote of the day came from a friend of mine who wants to know if she's going to Rodeo Drive to get fitted for her ankle bracelet...... ;)

Let's Get Judge Judy Involved!

Martha Stewart was throughly annoyed in an interview I didn't see earlier today.
"GIRL!" She said, shoving her finger into Paris's bony chest.
"If *I* had to do time, You're gonna do time."

Meanwhile, the Internet petition to Governor Ahnold is fraught with pleadings to have mercy and pardon the poor little heiress, because her very presence " provides "beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives."
Honey, none of us are so drunk that we believe that one. 

Today is Science Saturday

Good Afternoon. Britt and I spent a few hours today cleaning and mopping the garage. Now we can actually walk through from the garage door entrance into the house without climbing and clawing and inhaling massive amounts of sawdust and dried dead roach pieces!  She was not as impressed with this little feat as I was.  She also did not like the smell of the wet/dry vac, which reeked with malodorous funk. I need to clean that filter one of these days.

Said teenager was invited to a party on the last day of school, in which a limo would take them out to eat, to the beach for ice cream and then to the movies, where we were to pick them up afterward.  It's not a birthday party, so each kid is expected to pay her own way. I only knew one of the 5 girls who were invited.
I said no.
I was the only parent who said no.
Why? Cause I'd never met the kid before. I'd never even heard of her!  Her father could be Tony Soprano for all I know. 
So I said no.
(with conditions).
Britt, knowing me very well, took initiative. Invited the girl over after school to spend the night and hang out the next day.   NOW you're thinkin, kiddo.
I liked the girl very much. She complimented me on my eyes. She complimented our kitchen. She talked to us, freely of her own will.   I throughly enjoyed her company and have decided to trade one of my cats for her.
Although, I did wonder why the girl's parents said yes to sleeping over here without even meeting us.  The mother never called us until it was time to pick up her daughter today. She just assumed we were ok. My hub could have been Tony Soprano!  OR Freddy!  And how does she know we didn't have plans to leave them alone in the house with a meth-induced older brother? OR a snarling pit bull? 

In any event, I liked the kid a lot and her mom was great. So off they'll go on the last day of school, in a limo to dinner, the beach and beyond.
Harrump.  I've never been in a limo in my life.  That's twice for Britt!!

• The palms are blowing in the breeze, the sun is shining and there's not a cloud in the sky.  It's also in the upper 190's.  Summer has arrived.  That's the weather.

Here's a pic of Britt and a friend, practicing for a mini magic show for science class.
Behold!

Add dry ice to warm water and what do you get? Watch as the dry ice turns to carbon dioxide gas and water vapor.  Now run a wet, soapy cloth evenly across the top of the container,

The perfect bubble forms with trapped CO2 and water vapor.

.

This concludes our part of the science experiment. Tomorrow I'll be back with a good movie, a great book and a recipe or two or three.

Also, I may talk about my cats.

Oh, another thing...

Hello. I'm back.  I thought I'd surprise the hell out of you by writing a second post.  I'm also thinking of making another pot of coffee.

Got the doors wide open to receive the cold air. Ahhhhhh. After  weeks of 80' temps, this feels great!

Last fall I discovered that my cat also likes to sip from my mug of tea after it has cooled off. I caught him doing it one day and stared at him in shock. How long has he been doing that???

More stuff:

The other day I wrote a post about the streak of bad luck we were having.  Early the next morning, hub was on his way to work when his truck broke down on the side of the road and had to be towed home.  So much for bad luck changing.  I just know the broken mirrors were a factor.

Later that night, he explained in great detail exactly what happened within the confines of the engine, but all I can remember is that a pulley system broke off and is on the side of the road somewhere and that it works with a serpentine belt that stopped running because the pulley broke.
In any event, I chalked that up to our bad luck also.

You might remember that he injured his hand while on a trapeze during vacation.   As a result of the hand injury, a friend of ours helped him replace the belt and pulley system on the truck.

The friend was holding onto some type of metal spring, which rebounded and ...boing! it slammed into Rick's OTHER hand, causing it to swell up in a nice bumpy fashion.

This happened the day of the Gator game and I'll tell you, I was horrified. What if there was bad luck transference?  I am used to Rick's injuries by now.  But we had a big game that night. I could not stand it.

But of course, our luck changed. dramatically.  I took Kenju's advice and refused to believe in the power of it all.  Thinking only positive thoughts, it worked.  The truck was fixed.  The Gators not only won, they won impressively.   The weather changed too, went from the 80's down to the 40's .   What do you think of all that?
~The End~

Folks, This Should Be Your Retirement Fantasy, Too

I recently came across this remote control over at Engadget.   At first, it didn't make sense to me at all.  Made for Microsoft's new Vista Media OS, the remote will replace full mouse control and has a 100 foot range.

Up till now, I thought Vista was a computer only application, I didn't realize it could be used with the TV (...so slow and 1990's, I am).   It's for their Media application, of course. But what was "air-mouse" control all about?

I headed over to the Yahoo article, which explained in more detail.  Apparently the Gyrations Corporation has made  "...the only Microsoft-approved Media Center remote with mouse control -- allows consumers to navigate the Internet with a PC cursor as part of their HDTV home entertainment experience, including music, video, photos and Web surfing, all with one universal remote."

Imagine that.  You can actually sit on the couch and cruise the Internet without a mouse, in one fell swoop! 

I don't think I'll be the first to buy one of these remotes, but that could simply be because I'm cheap and also because at this point in time, I like my applications separate from each other.  Getting up from the computer to go into the family room to watch Grey's Anatomy is a good thing sometimes.  I don't want the internet on the TV in there also.

Still, I probably have that mindset because it's what I'm used to right now, no telling what the future will bring.  Remote control technology will soon advance far beyond our dreams.  For example, I can see how it will affect my girls in twenty years.   Britt will be 34 (holy smokes!!) and Sam will be (oh my God,..I just realized I'll be 65!!).   Sam will be 38.  Have mercy!

In any event, the way I have their lives planned out for them...I'll be in my gorgeous little beach cottage that is built to withstand cat 5 winds and 40 foot tidal surges, and Sam will be living in a big house in the country with dogs, horses and all the cats I won't let her adopt right now. Her career as a marine research scientist keeps her busy.
Britt will be living in the city because that's the way she is.  She will have little dogs because right now, I won't let her have any of those, either.  In any event, both of them will be within driving distance.

At the end of a long day, Britt will come home, toss her briefcase aside (because she loved to talk, she's a well regarded TV talk show host in this fantasy).... pick up the remote control, click on the giant TV screen to boot up, and then head to the kitchen where she'll get out a cool drink.

The screen will flash an orange light, meaning she has a video call waiting.  She'll then click on the light and a video call will begin to take place. The light will turn green, which means I've accepted the call.  Britt will pour herself a glass of the same orange soda she's been bugging me to buy lately (back to the present)
and glance at the screen.

"Good Evening!"  I will say as I turn in my chair and face the camera.  I put the remote on the little table.
I can see her on my own video screen back at home.  She sighs, and waves.  This technology, which was only  somewhat available back in 2007, is now commonplace.  The transmission is as fast and swift as it is in real time. People use it every day, instead of just once in a while or for business conference calls.

I had been relaxing after my own busy day.  My ankles were crossed over the porch railing, as I kicked back to watch the sun setting over the ocean and marvel at how good life is since I saved Florida from the developers and bought up all the land before they could ravish it any further.   I will do this by buying up all the companies that sell and manufacture cranes, since nobody can build a condo without a crane.
So all the building will come to a screeching halt and I will marvel at the sheer genius behind it all.  My new crane recycling plant will make millions in revenue.   

When a green light beeps in the house to let me know the call is coming in, I turn to face the camera.  I can see the TV through the window inside the house.

I'll hold up a mug of coffee or a glass of wine, or even ice tea and nod an enthusiastic howdy.  "What are you having for dinner?" I'll ask.  From the living room, Rick groans and shakes his head.

And Britt will roll her eyes, because she knows I've already done a video call with Samantha to find out what she was having for dinner and that I"m trying to decide whom to eat with yet again, based on the meal alone, and she'll say...
"...nothin..you're gettin NOTHIN!"

And I'll sigh, because that's what I used to say to her when she was fourteen and wanted me to buy more of those awful tasting Bagel Bites in the freezer department at the grocery store.

Oh yes, with an internet remote, the future is gonna be awfully fun!

Now You Can Have Him In Your Bedroom

The Truth About Christmas

One of my dearest friends is at it again.  He's going on tour and he's willing to podcast right into your bedroom....or your living room! Or wherever your computer may be, with full frontal comedy and some amazing music.  And really, your family can watch this one.

Nils Ling is going on tour with the talented and award winning musicians Cynthia MacLeod and Gordon Belscher for "The Truth About Christmas" in a live, high-quality, webcast.

I'm a long time fan of his play, "The Truth About Daughters" as well as having read the scripts for "The Truth About Love and/or Marriage"  and many of his weekly newspaper columns. Good old Buddy makes his first celebrity debut in his book, "Truths and Half Truths" which you can order right here if you're looking for some everyday funny. I'm in there too, in some ways. ;)

Want to see the podcast? click the link above to find out more!  Five bucks, well worth your time.

Here's his blog, how about if he tells you all about it?

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And on that note, this is my last post for NaPloBoMo! Thirty days, my friends.
I, of all people, wrote a post a day, for the first time in my bloggy life.

Did I not cover all the bases?  I wrote about God! And Football!  My Daughter's car crash!  The attack on my dog!  And later, his seizure!   My hub and his imperfect wife!

(No, this list is not in order of importance).
The BUCS! The Gators! The elections! Sports! COOKING!  Sleep Apnea!  Cats! Birds! NASTY TURKEYS! Photography!  And the miscreants!  The Miscreants of our time!  I am just plum exhausted. If you've stopped by to double check, here's my archives. 

And you, you who were there for me (I wax dramatic here), I've loved reading all of your comments. Y'all are amusing people.  Let me pour you a cold one, for I toast to you. Let us kick our feet up and sit back and reflect on the long endless month that was November.
It's been fun, kiddos.
Lights out, party's over.
~30~

All About Your Stressmas Lights

I'm getting tired of posting every day for Nablopomo. I've discovered I'm more of a 4 times a week kinda gal.  Or 3 times a week.  Get your mind outta the gutter. 

Wanting to be different this year, we decided to change our outdoor Christmas lights to another type.  Normally we use the icicle strands, but we got bored with them.  Fortunately, several strands blew the coop and needed to be replaced anyway. 

We wanted the old fashioned, individual "bulb" lights instead.  Remember those?

I found 'em at Target (no surprise there).   Now, I just went to their website to link to a photo of them, but they don't have them listed on the site.

Oh well.  Maybe I will go out there and take a pic of them when they're up.  They're individual red, green, blue and uh.. purple?  and everyone had them back in the 70's, when I was a mere child.
I'll try to find a pic of them for those of you who were born in 1970something.

UPDATE: Thanks to Ms. Sara Sue, we now have decent photos to go along with your imagination!

Meanwhile, hub was busy all day installing the electrical wires for the kitchen.  So far, we've spent close to $200 on wires and electric conduits, far less than what the electricians were going to charge us. I figure another $100 or so and we'll be done.

I count my blessings that hub can do this type of work. Also made sure to up his life insurance policy to five million.  You can buy a lot of lights for that.

He finished the first wave of wire installation and the next stage will be to crawl into the attic and run the wires from the fuse box to the kitchen for new switches.  This is the best time of the year to do this, when it's cool outside and not 180 degrees in the attic.

I was just kidding about the five million.  For a moment there, the fantasy was overwhelming.

He is worth more to me alive, while the house is in its current, unfinished state.

Again! I am just kidding.
Must I make a disclaimer with every passing sentence?   
Oh.  by the way, he knows how to do this type of electrical work. Just thought I should throw that in so you don't send pages of emails on electrical disasters.  Knock on wood when you read this!

It's been that kinda day. I was reunited with an old friend on MSN. That was a lot of fun, catching up.  I cleaned the bathroom top to bottom, Mopped the floors all over the house.  (we have tile in most of the rooms).   Worked my tootie off in the back yard. Filled up 4 bags of weeds and one garbage can full as well.  Samantha came out to help.

Then she saved my life when I got a little winded and had to go sit down.   Apparently my legs were shaking like jello at the time.  We headed for the chairs on the deck and she sat patiently while I told her stories of long ago and yesteryear.  She talked all about her friends and about some things that happened this weekend.  Britt came out and joined in.
Soon I was so rested that I didn't feel like finishing up the rest of the weeding.

You see how crafty they are, diverting my attention from what needs to be done.  This is why nothing ever gets done around here. They know how I like to sit and talk. They are willing to pretend to listen to get out of doing the work themselves.  IT IS A CONSPIRACY.  If you see this in your own kids, now you know why they do it.

I thought I'd better warn you, all you parents out there.

The Christmas lights and tree and decorations go up sometime this week.  Maybe.
  I've only bought one present so far, the Operation game featuring Shrek as a patient. It's for my niece, who doesn't read this blog.  She's 7.  I think.  hmm, how old is she...

Y'all ready for Stressmas?  Are your decorations up?

Get a load of all this!

BEST headline of the day, from the St. Petersburg Times:

On Clearwater Beach, condo dreams dry up.
The beach had nine major projects on the way, worth $1.4 billion. But the market dipped and empty sites dot the sand instead of high rises.

Thank you St. Petersburg Times, for just plum helping my whole morning get off to a good start with that one, single article. ;)
The last thing we want here is another Naples, Florida.  yech.

       *******************************************************************************************

Meanwhile, back in the bedroom and all around the house:

I'm actually cleaning out the master bedroom closet today.  We'll be able to walk all the way into it once I'm done!
I discovered the cat got ahold of one of our suitcases and used it as a shredding post.
HE DIES!
Washing machine is humming with sheets and blankets for the guest room. December is coming and so are The Others.

Rick is supposed to be working on the kitchen cabinets.  Keeps going in the garage, coming back with stuff for me to go through. I keep sending him back out there with the same stuff. I'm trying to take a break here, not take on additional projects.

The girls are sleeping late. They have no idea what their To Do list involves on this day. They'll need that sleep. I plan to send them into the yard, armed with gloves, a rake and clippers.
Suffice it to say that work builds character.
And my girls are real characters.
Looney, with a side of nuts.

I'm actually getting a head start on the holidays.  Will miracles ever cease?

Bucs are playing today but....
Well, I'll just keep  an eye on the  score. My  main goal, get them to shut down Keyshawn's mouth.

There's a house a few blocks away with a Christmas tree already lit up in living room window. 
Is that legal....

Veteran's Day is officially over, but I never figured there was a deadline on appreciation.
Here's a nice site in tribute of those who have served, past and present. Thank You.

I hope to be back this afternoon with an update. Are you getting ready for Christmas yet?
BY the way...

Congrats to Walmart for encouraging their greeters and employees to break the politically correct rule and start saying "Merry Christmas" to all their customers.  It's time we started a revolution and bring back Christmas for those of us who want it in our lives. 
There was never anything wrong with this holiday and you'll never hear me wishing anyone a Happy Kwanzahanuakahistmas. It's one holiday, one at a time. 

NaNoPloMo  *13

All The Things You Hold

I had to help assist the Vet in several autopsies on dogs in my old job at a veterinary clinic.  (This was back in the 80's, you  know. I don't care if i'm dating myself.)
(But I WAS very young at the time.  Very young)

And fortunately, the bodies were frozen.   I got used to it. For some reason, when they're frozen, it's easier to stomach.   Now that I think about it, I only participated in two autopsies. So I can't claim to be an expert.
But I did have to hold frozen body parts.
Other things I had to hold:
The eye of a Schipperke in the palm of my hand.  The entire eye.  What is a Schipperke you ask? That's a photo of one right there.   Cute little black dog on the left.
Now the vet walked up to me with an outstretched arm and unfolded his palm, which revealed the eye itself and he said: "I want you to keep an EYE on this dog".
He had a sick sense of humor too, huh. ;)

Meanwhile, back in the kitchen:

Seamus asked how the kitchen remodeling was coming along.  MANY of you thought the photo of the kitchen in one of the previous posts was my new kitchen! and this just PROVES you don't read my post! tsk! tsk!

  Ahhhh, I know how it goes. You like picture books instead.  (g).  Not to worry, my own mother saw the photo and said she noticed we had moved the bar to the other side of the room.  Um, not so much.   We did move a whole wall, however.  and built a new wall.

But....folks, you're right. It's time for an update!  One of the reasons it has taken so long is that I was waiting for the tile backsplash and ceiling to be finished   Forget that, I'll give you the 3/4 finished version.

So this afternoon, I'm going to take some pictures of the kitchen and I'll try to post them by tomorrow.

A couple people asked why it was taking so long.  Let me just say that a month into the project, the tenants moved out of a house we own up in North Florida and it was vacant for several months.

Your mortgage payment? Try doubling it for 4 months on end. There went a chunk of the kitchen fund.  We headed up to Gainesville and sunk another grand into home repairs on THAT house instead.  Had it not been for those expenses the job probably would have been done by summer.  That had been the original plan. 
And as you all know, nothing is as easy as it looks.  ;)

So! We rebounded and carried on. One thing I am proud of,  this kitchen was done for cash.  That's right, we don't owe anything on this kitchen... not a single bill is looming in the distance.  Some good things came out of it,  the granite company wanted my husband's company business and so gave us a great deal on the granite.  That saved us a friggin bundle and a half!
Now if only the kids braces and our medical and looming college expenses could be done in a similar manner!!!!

Ok, I'll get cracking on the photos this afternoon, and I promise not to trick you all ever again with posts like the other one, and that's the truth as far as you know. ;0

Have you ever held anything that made you squeamish?

*NaBloPoMo 9

Plaque, Boats, Band and Football

Did you know it takes only 24 hours for plaque to harden into tartar? The things you find out when you actually watch those streaming dental videos at the dentist office. The waiting room was so cold, I kept going outside to thaw out.

Sam was in for a filling re-do. The dentist messed up the first time and fixed it free of charge this time.  This will be the last time we go to him.  He did the same thing to me a few months ago and I couldn't even chew my Captain Crunch in the mornings.  And I do like my cereal. I had to go back 3 times to get it worked on.

I didn't want him to work on Samantha's filling, but nooooooooo, Rick said to give him another chance.  HA!  Well that was his last chance, bucko!  The guy is in his late 20's, drives a Mercedes Convertible.  He took over for the older dentist that we used to go to, who retired.  I am not on board with that.  When he can do the work without a need for repeat visits, then he will have earned his keep.  Besides, BMW is the way to go, sheesh.
I plan to cruise the parking lot of my next dentist first, just to check out his vehicle of choice.

Myoflex is my new friend.  Does anything else work better? If so, let me know.  I rub it in and around my ankles, hands, fingers, arms... it works great.  Odorless, too.

From the department of age related role reversals:

Samantha and her high school club will be working at the elementary school fall festival tonight. Since most of them went to elementary school there, it's a homecoming of sorts. She is all excited at seeing the tater tots again. Later, they are going to howl-o-scream at Busch Gardens. Gore fest. with teeth.

Britt's middle school color guard will be joining the high school color guard tonight at a band function. Yours truly will be chaperoning. Another gore fest, of a different sort.

Rick's friend, the (unfortunate) Miami Dolphin fan from aforementioned posts, will be joining us tonight and for the weekend, as we take his daughter, the lovely Miss Mariah, out for her first (?) fishing trip in the great sea. I plan to take photos! oh the novelty!

 

Sunday we have a Bucs game to go to, which I plan to coach from the stands. Going to see my favorites, #55, Mr. Derrick Brooks and  #40 of course, who needs no introduction if you live down this way.
Sunday night, I plan to crash.

Y'all have a great weekend!!!

<----can't go with us. :(