~Vitamin Sea~

Diary of Backyard Birder. (Newbie style)

Prologue:

We haven't used a bird feeder over the last 10 years because of our three indoor/outdoor cats.

I've always wanted a feeder. And not one, but several, visible from various windows.

Way back in the early 2000's...we took a chance and put up a big ol' feeder .
The squirrels came running in from all over the county and ate up all the food in one day.
One Single Day.
And over time, they chewed on the edges of the bird feeder itself.
I was incensed.

Years passed.
The cats became old and fat and lazy.
One day, I had a thought.
What if there was less of a spring in their step?
Less of a "booing booing" in their jump?
That would mean they would be less effective hunters!
The birds would have a flying chance!
If only, I thought, the cats would develop cataracts.

My camera was itching.
I decided to go for it.

But first, I bought a squirrel resistant bird feeder.

What follows is a true story.

March, 2008:

Rick and I are in the Home Depot, where I've talked him into helping me build a free-standing post for a bird feeder. I figured the post would be made from a 4x4 fence post, approximately 12 ft. long, and from it, we could attach various hooks to hang up the feeders.
In the garden section, we pass a display of ready made plant hangers, and I notice a 12 ft metal stand with 4 hooks.
I decide to give Rick a break and buy that instead.
Richard looks a little relieved.  No building!

We head to Walmart.  This will be a test run to see how well the feeder resists the squirrels, and I don't want to buy expensive bird feed.
Walmart lets me down. $12 for a big bag!  Remembering the last bag that disappeared in One Day, I reach for the cheaper stuff. 

Back at home,  I order coax Brittany into holding up the feeder in the back yard as I move around the house from the kitchen window to the family room window and back again. 
I just want to make sure I can photograph the site clearly.  Finally I give her thumbs up.

Unfortunately the best place for the feeder is 30 ft from the window.  It's the only place in the yard where the cats can't hide behind something and leap out at the birds.
I'll have to use the zooms. 
And my zoom lens are a mess.  They perform like Windows98 without the Service Pack upgrades and two Trojans to boot.

Richard returns, and frowns as I begin pounding the new feeder post into the ground.  He takes charge so it can be done "properly."   In his mind, there is a logical order to the way things ought to be.  In my mind, things just go up and there you go!

1 Week later: 

Still no birds.

Two weeks later:

Begin checking the pole for signs of cat pee. Maybe Rico is warning them off?
No, that wouldn't make sense.

3 weeks later:

Still nothing.  I am resolute in my determination not to buy fancy bird feed.

Yet. there is a plus... no squirrels!  A bonafide plus.

April:

The doves have moved in, but I'm not impressed.  I am looking for birds of color.
Where are the finches?
I have no idea that the mourning doves will soon make me smile.
The ring neck doves have arrived and have begun chasing the mourning doves away.  I have decided to sic Rico on the ring necks. 
Rico just lays there, doing nothing.

The Middle of April:

I text Rick, Sam and Brittany: "BLUEJAY!" 

I grab the camera, but he is gone.

May:

I am growing tired of the Blue jays.  They visit every day.

Where are all the Other Birds?
Maybe I should give in and get the good seed.

Nah.

At least I figured out a way to photograph the Jay.

First thing to do was to remove the screen from the kitchen window.
Second thing to do was spray a little WD 40 around the edges so I could get the window open quietly.
Third thing to do was tape a sign reminding everyone that the screen was off.
Fourth thing to do was to tune out all the complainers in the house who were whining about the skeeters.

Good grief.

This is my window, and there is my mini-tripod:

Do you see it?  My kitchen tripod is blue, made of heavy glass and easily supports extra long lens.  We are nothing if not decoratively and professionally adept around here.  Simply lean over the sink, balance zoom lens on the glass, steady thyself, focus, aim, SHOOT!  Simple enough. 

(ahem).

Sometime in May,

I text Rick again: "CARDINAL!"
(it only takes one word).
He is actually not very excited.

Unfortunately, I have yet to get a photograph of them. Rick put the screen back on the window.

And by the time I got open, the cardinal was GONE.

June, the first week:

Zoey has finally awakened. 

 

(photo by Brittany)

It occurred to him there has been quite a bit of activity at the feeder lately.
(Took him 3 months to figure it out).

He decided to park himself on the stone wall near the bird feeder.  Then he got a little sleepy in the warm sun.

Out of the blue, a hose rained down on him, blasting him right outta his comfort zone.
Gee, wonder where that came from.

Sometime in June:

I text Rick again:  "PARROTS!"

Richard ain't happy. The local parrots are loud, squawking noise makers. We have several colonies of them around the neighborhood.

I am thrilled.  Photo OP!

Earlier in the week, I had taken the screen back off the window again. Gently, I slide the window open so the parrots won't flee.

Focus, aim.. shoot. No.  Blur... huh? 

Check camera. readjust the dials. 

Focus, aim, ...shooot,  @#@#

Resolve to throw lens at insurance company representatives on their way to work
Run and grab stock lens instead.
Pray.

Parrot is gone. 
%$#@

Parrot comes back. Shoot like mad.
Pray. Edit. Crop.
Here you go!

 

 

I am still holding out for the birds of color to show up for my cheap Walmart bird feed.

Stay tuned!

Oliver and the rest of Florida

Oliver returns, and he is having more fun than you.
Don't forget to click the Previous button at the top of the page.

Blogging has been slow lately as we've just been really busy around here. I am a tad exhausted. Rick is just wiped out. On Saturday morning I plan to sleep very, very late.  At least till eight. 

In the meantime, I have yet another warning on why you shouldn't move to Florida.  Bad enough that we have too many condos, homeowner's associations and scorpions.  But now our pelicans are attacking!
Read the article, I kid you not!  Twenty-five stitches resulted after that dangerous day in the Gulf.

This poor woman was not only attacked by a pelican that mistook her for a fish (ahem), but also, area wildlife conservation agents are complaining that there's not ENOUGH money in the budget for eyesight checks for pelicans.  They will apply for a government grant to study the pelican population and see if there is any danger to the general public.  Y'all might as well stay in Arkansas, what with all the alligators wandering into the kitchens and black bears climbing trees in the city.  It's a tad scary down here in Jungala Florida.  Think I'm making all this up?  Then come on down and move right in!  Just wait'll you meet your local homeowner's insurance agent.  Then you'll know real fear.   

~Back soon!~

Don't Shoot the Messenger

just a note... in case you were worried, or something. Click Here.

Life around here

 

It looks to be a gorgeous weekend in Tampa Bay! We'll be heading out on the boat this afternoon to a small island along the Intracoastal for a color-guard party. It'll be fun and I hope to get some great pics.

Check out our newest Pond Inspector, brought in to assess the situation and determine the best course of action to repair the leaks.

His sidekick checks for drugs and bombs, just in case. So far, the only evidence he can find are heron and coon prints, and a series of suspicious lizard droppings.

Praise for a job well done:

Except....
Rico's diagnosis: use less water and get more fish.

I thought I heard him snicker. 
For some reason he became slightly agitated after I told him we'll be filling the pond up again, and soon.

I consoled him by promoting him to Chief of Security.

(Males.andtheiregos.)

 

The Jonas Brothers LIVE!

Today is Celebrity Tuesday, here on VitaminSea!.  We finally have the long awaited photos of the Jonas Brothers, taping their segment for Disney's Christmas Parade back in December.

Ahem.  Full disclaimer coming, I had no idea who they were when I took these photos.  All I knew is that when they came onto the set, the announcer (Regis?)  introduced the Jonas Brothers and a sea of girls erupted into loud screams and squeals.  So I started shooting.

 

The big guy on the right? I thought that was Big from Rob and Big!  Turns out it's not, my daughters just had to roll their eyes.  I like that show and watch it once in a while, when I happen to be in the room at the same time it's on.   Meaty the Bulldog rocks!  Check it out, yo.

 

You can borrow these photos for your own enjoyment but if I ever see them used in the media for any reason whatsoever, I'll sue your ass till kingdom come. You must contact me first. No exceptions.

Check out my Regis and Kelly  photos from previous Celebrity Tuesdays if you haven't seen them already.

( And, um....that might be it for awhile. I don't often see celebrities around here. 'cept for Hulk, of course.  Did I ever tell y'all  about the time I ran into him?  Oh, my girls are so rolling their eyes now. They've only heard this story 300 times....) 

Greetings from the Voiceless and the Naked Woman

The great Rico Suave, peering off the roof... now we know why.

Good morning dearies!   It is with great pleasure that I bring you the news that I can breathe again!    Breathing, it is something we take for granted,  yes?  As well it should. 

I've fought a sinus war for a month or so, but Sunday it turned into the cold from hell, seizing my vocal cords and rendering me into absolute silence.   I couldn't speak a word, and that was not right.  Everyone thought it was funny that I was attempting to speak in this sort of high pitched squeal, until they got sick, too.  By then, I'd stopped caring what they thought..  We all got sick, courtesy of Brittany, who started it all with fever and laryngitis herself.  She was squeaking around for a full week, causing Rick to laugh uproariously and mimic her, for which he got thwapped upside the head a few times by yours truly, and Britt herself.

Sam came down with it, minus the laryngitis,  and then Richard, who usually beats his chest and announces he never gets sick - so strong is his immune system.  Whatever. 
His denial was such a sad thing to behold   On Tuesday he came home from work and surrendered to fever and chills. 

I am now under the influence of Azithromycin for antibiotics and Entex, to release the greenery and I'm hoping for the best.  And my voice, it hath returned somewhat.  Ahh, to speak some more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now, a naked woman story for your visual reading pleasure:

Our  next door neighbor has a new girlfriend, a slightly heavy-set girl in her late 20's.  On Saturday, while Rick's grandparents were visiting, she happened to walk outside their back door and stripped all her clothes off just as his grandfather walked past the BBQ area of our deck.to peer over into their yard. Off came the top, the bra, her shorts and undies.  Buck naked, she stood to the cold, frigid winds that stirred the Bay area on Saturday afternoon. Then she climbed in the hot tub.

Man, ol 'Gramps didn't know what to make of that.
But he had the biggest, widest  grin on his face for the entire weekend.
You would have thought she'd look around before barring her boobs and butt to the snowbirds.

Three days earlier, he'd hit a hole-in-one on the golf course down in Estero, and got the golf card signed and witnessed by friends.  First hole in one in his life.
I told him there are men that wait their whole lives to experience what he did in three days. 

Some of you are wondering, why did he peer over the fence in the first place?  Well, he always does. He loves landscaping.  A few years ago, my neighbor built a gorgeous pool and hot tub area, complete with an outdoor kitchen that has a covered roof, gas grill, fridge, and a beautifully landscaped yard, with giant palms, winding paths, the whole nine yards.
  It's really something to see. He'll stop by the fence to talk on occasion, and and one year he gave Grandpa a tour of the whole thing. 
He's never offered up live boobs on parade, tho.

*******************************

There's ol Buddy, joining me for the Meme I'm doing for y'all. Details are coming verrrrrrrry soon!
Maybe even today!
Hopefully by tomorrow!
Get your cameras ready, you'll like this one. ;)

Happy V Day. ;)

It's Winter! What are you Thinking!

I know, I know, the new design doesn't have anything to do with winter, or Christmas, or the holidays at all.
Still, I was tired of Typepad's cheesy red and white snowman, which, I thought, was a little scary looking. I didn't like the font either.  They didn't offer any options to change it, and that meant I had to do a Cntrl + every time I came to my own blog.   That ain't right, I tell ya.

So change was imminent. And  I figured, maybe when you're tired of being snowed in, y'all might like to come south for a while. ;)

This is crunch week, lots to get done before Tuesday! Why am I messing with the template? I need to stop checking my email and reading blogs and get to work.
Ricardo wants to plaster the kitchen ceiling tonight.
boy, that sounds like fun. 

I've been up since 6 a.m, had to clean up 3 sections where the cat apparently got sick all over creation. I mopped, mopped and mopped some more,washed the legs of the computer chair where it got all over the wheels, and cleaned the bathroom.
10 minutes later, I smelled cat pee.  And the litter box was clean.   I'm gonna kill the little bugger when I find him.   

By the way, if you're still stumped on Christmas gifts, I've been cruising around gifts.com and they had a few good ideas over there.  Check out their personality tests, you just never know what you'll find.

For those of you who are wracking your brains over what to get certain people that you don't even like, but are otherwise obligated to shop for... China has quite a few products on our market to consider. It just takes longer for the gift to take effect.   bwahahhaha.

Terrible, I know.  but I've been fighting with a template and cat stink all morning...oh what a mooood~ ;)

Yet, it's 45' outside.  FORTY FIVE. (that's big news in Tampa Bay).  Plus it's sunny, beautiful, in spite of all the BS this morning, I'm in a great mood. 

Have y'all made your Christmas cookies yet? What kind are you making?

Regis and Kelly, LIVE!

Here they are, folks, live from Walt Disney World, Florida. 

Here's Regis, waiting for Kelly to stop talking. Look at the camera person on the left:

I was pretty far away, got very lucky with the zoom lens! 

Later that afternoon....an introspective moment.  I didn't realize just how beautiful she is!

Next up, Jessica Simpson and the Jonas Brothers ;)   

The Hair Up There

 

Above, please note the frizzy wheat straws, blowing every which way in the wind.  Next, please note the photo of Phyllis Diller with her legendary hair.  And note, if you will, the similarity between the two. That's what my hair looks like when I come in from a workout in the summer.

The humidity, it is not kind to my hairy follicles.

Oh, I can wear a hat, usually choosing a baseball cap when I go out, but my hair is really stubborn.  Imagine Carrot Top with a baseball cap.
It looks like that.  Except without all the curls.  I have straight/wavy hair, depending on what part of my head you're looking at,  with curls that tend to form around the neckline.  Also, I'm not a red head.
But  I have a lot of hair on this old head of mine.  A LOT of hair.
I've tried putting it in a pony tail but the ends always pull free from the band and spray around of their own accord. I get curly little ringlets soaked with sweat that doesn't really look as sexy as it sounds.

And that is why, when I'm walking down the street after the final workout, soaked with sweat and dripping wet,  I sometimes get the most amused looks from people as they drive by.  Some of them look concerned.  I have the same fair skin as my Dad, so I'm likely to be red faced and flushed from the sun.  The hair loves to annoy me this way and will start frizzing outward to greet the aliens.  I usually get even by beating it with a brush later that day.
It doesn't seem to care.  It is dead, after all, and has no feeling.

Every time I get done with the workout, I take Buddy out for a few minutes to give him a good workout of his own.  And his hair always looks the same, before and after.
It is just so easy to be a dog. And so very hard to be a woman. ;)

Paris Hilton

So, y'all want to discuss Paris?  Best quote of the day came from a friend of mine who wants to know if she's going to Rodeo Drive to get fitted for her ankle bracelet...... ;)