Lots of stories popping up in the news lately about identify theft, so I thought I'd share a stinkin preventative measure, just for you. We have a paper shredder at home, but it's an older model, and doesn't have the "cross-cut" capability. As a result, I have to be extra careful to make sure our names and other information are not on any remaining slivers of paper that have been shredded.
Not to worry, however. Every time the bag gets full, I stop by our litter box on the way out the door and fill that sucker up with the remaining cat deposits for the past few days. If there are no deposits handy, I head to the fridge and load up on the leftovers and runny, wet cucumbers from the previous week...or any other disgusting food that I can find. Raw eggs are good. Raw eggs are very good.
Once the bag is tied shut and left to smolder in the Florida sun, I challenge any dumpster diver to run their fingers through what remains inside of it. If the smell doesn't make them pass out, the ensuing germs will surely fester in every cut and spore they have on their mangy criminal bodies. Serves 'em right.
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Speaking of creepy bodies, I've got a bone to pick with network TV, thanks to these guys. Folks, this commercial is on the tube almost every night lately, and I think it's on every network as well. We cannot escape it.
Can you stand to watch the part where they show the little yellow gizzard crawling around inside the nail bed? UGH. Then, the thing takes up residence down in there and INVITES HIS FRIENDS and they all have a party chewing around inside of your NAIL BED! My stomach just clenched up.
I was going to put up a picture of this biting yellow parasite for your stomach to cringe along with mine, but merely visiting their website makes me want to wrap my toes in duct tape and spray them with Dursban.
I don't have nail fungus, but these critters are freaking me out. Can you imagine a little kiddo watching this on TV? It's the stuff of NIGHTMARES, people! We need to go war, not on the nail fungus but the COMMERCIAL ITSELF.
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Meanwhile, I have another bone to pick with the people who own little pocket dogs. A pocket dog is a little toy breed that is all the rage lately. I see them poking their heads out of purses and backpacks all around town. Live ones, like Chihuahuas and mini schnauzeroodles and that sort of thing. LAST weekend, we went to Mainsail... St. Petersburg's juried art show, which is held downtown on the waterfront. Let me go get a picture to show you how wonderful this day was:
Look at all these fine folks, just sitting around at the waterfront, resting their feet and eating away....lots of grilled grouper sandwiches and great BBQ to be had, plus a live band, cool breezes, not a cloud in the sky. Just awesome day... right up till the afternoon sun kicked in. ;)
Anyway, the little pocket dogs were everywhere. I don't have a problem if they get to ride along in your arms.... however, I DO have a problem with the number of times I've seen people do this:
Dog is standing.
Owner wants to pick it up.
Owner yanks the leash upward and swings the dog up and into their arms.
That's at least a 4 foot swing.
Folks... the dog might be lightweight, but you're risking the chance that you'll either snap their neck or commit them to a life time of neck pain brought on by the stress of the leash straining their neck around, and arthritis. Bend your fat a*s down and pick the dog up! sheesh.
Secondly, on behalf of those dogs that had to walk on their own four paws... I didn't see a single canine that looked happy about it. It's a long walk from the parking area to the art show, and as the day wore on, the sun began to assert itself. I saw one lady heading east toward the show while her lab pulled in the opposite direction toward a nearby tree, where he plopped down in the shade and sat there panting. She stood in the sun, waiting for him to get up again. If you really love your canine, leave them home when you go to these shows!
More from the show, here's some lucky boatsafarians that enjoyed the festival from afar:
Here's the little people who live in the trees around town....shhhh.
And the sidewalk poet, preaching words of wisdom, let it be, let it be... ;)
Have a great weekend!
You have a lovely weekend, too.
Posted by: Nils | April 28, 2006 at 01:19 PM
I despise the lamisil trolls too, but I like your blog! I'll be back to read more!
Michele sent me here....
Posted by: shpprgrl | April 28, 2006 at 01:21 PM
Those are pretty disgusting little creatures, huh? Color alone is enough to make you urp!
Looks like a wonderful day there!
Some people just shouldn't be allowed to have dogs - period!
YAY! Friday!
Posted by: Seamus | April 28, 2006 at 01:57 PM
Hi, Michele sent me....
I think I may be back, I like your take on life.
I agree about those poor dogs. And I love the 'little people' living in the trees.
cq
Posted by: craziequeen | April 28, 2006 at 04:19 PM
poor little dogs :( That is awful that someone would pick their dog up that way. They should either right tickets for that and fine em big time or take the dog from the owner. That is just cruel.
P.S. Those trees are very cool
here via Michele
Posted by: presentstorm | April 28, 2006 at 04:31 PM
I'd need a wagon to carry either one of my dogs around ;) I like that dude's sidewalk chalk art!
Posted by: poopie | April 28, 2006 at 06:38 PM
I just can't believe that someone who supposedly loves their dog would yank on a leash and just swing the little dog up...that is sooo cruel. They don't deserve to have a dog.
And I liked your idea on identity theft...I have an old shredder too and that's a great idea to put cat poo or food leftovers in the trash bag with the shredded documents.
Posted by: Sandy of AIP | April 28, 2006 at 09:52 PM
Those little things are dogs??
Have a great weekend.
Posted by: FloridaCracker | April 28, 2006 at 11:31 PM
I have a foolproof way to avoid identity theft. I always operate on a stolen identity myself. So if someone steals it, they are in reality stealing someone's else's. not mine.
Then I'll just steal another one.
I may be a genius. We're waiting for the test results.
Have a great weekend!
Posted by: Mr. Fabulous | April 29, 2006 at 06:13 AM
I tell those fools what they are doing to their pets. they don't like it but I don't care. maybe they learn and listen. Write a letter to the editor about it.
For shredded papers, I use them as mulch. spread it around the yard, breaks down pretty easily. I cover it with leaves if it shows where I don't want it to show. I also use them on the bottom of a flower pot to help fill it. Especially the big ones.
Another TV ad that is offensive is the two men standing at a urinal discusses their stuff. This is supposed to sell me on the idea of buying the Direct TV? And the ad with the father trying to get his kids out of the car and they refuse because they want to watch the TV while playing cards. Why the heck doesn't he yank them out? Who is in control?
Nice pictures.
Posted by: mom | April 29, 2006 at 03:04 PM
I've never seen the commercial, and nothing you said about it makes me want to either.
Oh, the poor little dogs!
One of my big horrors is watching grown-ups, usually men, grab little babies (who can barely pull upright) by the upper arms and lift them up.
In fact, at one festival, I told one man that the child's arms were not skillet handles--there are muscles and nerves and joints with loose ligaments in there--and he could do permanent injury.
He told me to mind my own business.
When I said that I had earned a decent grade in human anatomy class and that children are the reason for my job, he curled his lip and walked away.
We can't save everyone, sad to say.
Posted by: MrsDoF | April 29, 2006 at 06:39 PM
I ALWAYS mute the trolls and look away from the set (or change the channel). Besides, you can cure fungus with Vick's salve and it is a lot cheaper)!
Love the sidewalk lessons.
Posted by: kenju | April 29, 2006 at 07:12 PM
How wicked am I for admitting I don't like smaller dogs generally? I call them "yippie dogs" because of the way their bark shrills to a YIP YIP YIP. My golden retrievers seem to feel the same way because judging from their reaction when yippie dogs prance past our home, my dogs want to use them as chew toys.
Posted by: Grins | April 30, 2006 at 10:45 AM
I didn't try to leave a URL because last time it kept telling me I had it wrong - someday I will figure it out.
Those little pocket dogs are cute but so delicate. I can't imagine someone yanking them up by their leash - animal cruelty.
Love the picture of the 'little people' you caught.
Those commercials gross me out also and I check my toe nails every time it comes on. Another one that is gross is the mucus one - and I have to take that medicine so I invision these creepy things trying to move into my lungs and sinuses.
Any one who tried to steal our idenities would be in for a surprise - they wounldn't get very much. I like your idea of the messy left overs and the cat poo.
Glad your enjoyed your day dispite the doggies.
Posted by: doubleknot | May 01, 2006 at 06:33 AM