Prologue:
We haven't used a bird feeder over the last 10 years because of our three indoor/outdoor cats.
I've always wanted a feeder. And not one, but several, visible from various windows.
Way back in the early 2000's...we took a chance and put up a big ol' feeder .
The squirrels came running in from all over the county and ate up all the food in one day.
One Single Day.
And over time, they chewed on the edges of the bird feeder itself.
I was incensed.
Years passed.
The cats became old and fat and lazy.
One day, I had a thought.
What if there was less of a spring in their step?
Less of a "booing booing" in their jump?
That would mean they would be less effective hunters!
The birds would have a flying chance!
If only, I thought, the cats would develop cataracts.
My camera was itching.
I decided to go for it.
But first, I bought a squirrel resistant bird feeder.
What follows is a true story.
March, 2008:
Rick and I are in the Home Depot, where I've talked him into helping me build a free-standing post for a bird feeder. I figured the post would be made from a 4x4 fence post, approximately 12 ft. long, and from it, we could attach various hooks to hang up the feeders.
In the garden section, we pass a display of ready made plant hangers, and I notice a 12 ft metal stand with 4 hooks.
I decide to give Rick a break and buy that instead.
Richard looks a little relieved. No building!
We head to Walmart. This will be a test run to see how well the feeder resists the squirrels, and I don't want to buy expensive bird feed.
Walmart lets me down. $12 for a big bag! Remembering the last bag that disappeared in One Day, I reach for the cheaper stuff.
Back at home, I order coax Brittany into holding up the feeder in the back yard as I move around the house from the kitchen window to the family room window and back again.
I just want to make sure I can photograph the site clearly. Finally I give her thumbs up.
Unfortunately the best place for the feeder is 30 ft from the window. It's the only place in the yard where the cats can't hide behind something and leap out at the birds.
I'll have to use the zooms.
And my zoom lens are a mess. They perform like Windows98 without the Service Pack upgrades and two Trojans to boot.
Richard returns, and frowns as I begin pounding the new feeder post into the ground. He takes charge so it can be done "properly." In his mind, there is a logical order to the way things ought to be. In my mind, things just go up and there you go!
1 Week later:
Still no birds.
Two weeks later:
Begin checking the pole for signs of cat pee. Maybe Rico is warning them off?
No, that wouldn't make sense.
3 weeks later:
Still nothing. I am resolute in my determination not to buy fancy bird feed.
Yet. there is a plus... no squirrels! A bonafide plus.
April:
The doves have moved in, but I'm not impressed. I am looking for birds of color.
Where are the finches?
I have no idea that the mourning doves will soon make me smile.
The ring neck doves have arrived and have begun chasing the mourning doves away. I have decided to sic Rico on the ring necks.
Rico just lays there, doing nothing.
The Middle of April:
I text Rick, Sam and Brittany: "BLUEJAY!"
I grab the camera, but he is gone.
May:
I am growing tired of the Blue jays. They visit every day.
Where are all the Other Birds?
Maybe I should give in and get the good seed.
Nah.
At least I figured out a way to photograph the Jay.
First thing to do was to remove the screen from the kitchen window.
Second thing to do was spray a little WD 40 around the edges so I could get the window open quietly.
Third thing to do was tape a sign reminding everyone that the screen was off.
Fourth thing to do was to tune out all the complainers in the house who were whining about the skeeters.
Good grief.
This is my window, and there is my mini-tripod:
Do you see it? My kitchen tripod is blue, made of heavy glass and easily supports extra long lens. We are nothing if not decoratively and professionally adept around here. Simply lean over the sink, balance zoom lens on the glass, steady thyself, focus, aim, SHOOT! Simple enough.
(ahem).
Sometime in May,
I text Rick again: "CARDINAL!"
(it only takes one word).
He is actually not very excited.
Unfortunately, I have yet to get a photograph of them. Rick put the screen back on the window.
And by the time I got open, the cardinal was GONE.
June, the first week:
Zoey has finally awakened.
(photo by Brittany)
It occurred to him there has been quite a bit of activity at the feeder lately.
(Took him 3 months to figure it out).
He decided to park himself on the stone wall near the bird feeder. Then he got a little sleepy in the warm sun.
Out of the blue, a hose rained down on him, blasting him right outta his comfort zone.
Gee, wonder where that came from.
Sometime in June:
I text Rick again: "PARROTS!"
Richard ain't happy. The local parrots are loud, squawking noise makers. We have several colonies of them around the neighborhood.
I am thrilled. Photo OP!
Earlier in the week, I had taken the screen back off the window again. Gently, I slide the window open so the parrots won't flee.
Focus, aim.. shoot. No. Blur... huh?
Check camera. readjust the dials.
Focus, aim, ...shooot, @#@#
Resolve to throw lens at insurance company representatives on their way to work
Run and grab stock lens instead.
Pray.
Parrot is gone.
%$#@
Parrot comes back. Shoot like mad.
Pray. Edit. Crop.
Here you go!
I am still holding out for the birds of color to show up for my cheap Walmart bird feed.
Stay tuned!
Here's Zoey going after the egret, first time I've ever seen one of my cats go after these birds. I shot these photos through the living room window. I really need to clean the glass!.
No matter how often we chase the bird away, he'll return. These birds are persistent, folks Once they discover a source of food, there's no stopping them. He's after the fish in our pond. I had to give in and run tacky fishing wire every which way across the pond. I really need to give the pond a good cleaning,too.
Should have used a faster shutter speed! The egret was not at all fazed by our overweight, out of shape, feline security force and returned a few seconds later. This photo was taken through the glass on our front door. As soon as my hand hit the door handle, he flew away.
Meanwhile, Zoey, who has Hunter's Deficit ADD, forgot all about the bird sitting 15 feet away. Our fish had to fend for themselves.
There was a dirt to roll in!!! Zoey was not allowed back in the house afterward. His fur had a solid gray cast to it and was covered with bits of chopped leaves..
As for the bird...he sits and waits....bidding his time.
The cats always take off.
On the plus side, PetSmart was selling cheap feeder goldfish, about two inches long, 12 for $1 last year. I don't dare spend money on expensive Koi, having lost my last batch of beautiful Koi to these bastards magnificent birds.
Those little feeders are now a good six or seven inches long and extremely fat.
We have a white egret that has been hanging around lately. Any day now, he's going to get fat too.
But never fear...
from the safety of our living room, Percy keeps watch.
Unfortunately, he hates to go outside and would rather run under the bed then confront the sonuvabtch magnificent beast.
I might as well stock up on more fish.
If anyone has any OTHER ideas on how to keep the birds out of our pond, send 'em! Fishing line, strung across the pond and woven into a web to keep them out.... doesn't help. They'll gingerly step in and around it.
Anyone up for sentry duty?
The Creepy Foot moved in to attack the innocent shadow.
I shot this picture through the windowpane in the living room, and had to take it quickly because he was gone in an instant. He was going after the fish in my pond again. This one wasn't as brave as the other birds that I've shown in this category of photos. The herons like to challenge me by hanging around on a neighboring roof to see if I'm going to go back inside the house again. But this little guy took flight for better waters. I'll cut him some slack. After all, I still have fish in the pond.
I've got company coming and a lot to do today, so I'm turning the site over to Psychobird. He just would not shut UP while I was cleaning earlier. I about strangled his measly neck....
Y'all are welcome to let him field your questions. Just be patient while waiting for answers; he's a hunt and peck typist. (groan... wasn't that the worst pun on earth??).
Fill in your own caption!
South Beach diet, Phase 1, Day 6: How to Survive the Coming Bad Weeks:
Last night, I would have given my entire kingdom for a carbohydrate. Wouldn't that have been some Kingdom? It would have come with a house, a pool, a pond and it's very own bodyguard.
There he is, standing sentry, right over the front door. I took this picture a month ago, but he has returned on a weekly basis. He is ever vigilant. I once thought the reason we don't have break-ins is because we have an ornery dog, but I think it's the beast on the roof with the orange spear that keeps 'em at bay.
I would have kept the kids, however. Yesterday, my oldest daughter decided to do the laundry by herself without being ordered to do so. I'm a tad proud of her. (it's the first time EVER). My youngest unloaded the dishwasher and cleaned her room. (I had to tell her to do it, but there is hope....)
Lately they have been awfully good. Something is up. Either that, or letting them sleep in all morning really does affect their moods.
OR, the bird is getting to them... and they are VERY AFRAID.
Now y'all know about my ongoing war with the birds that come in off the gulf and eat the fish out of my pond. I used to buy expensive Koi, but now I'm reduced to buying cheap feeder goldfish: 12 for a Dollar.
Believe it or not, lil feeder goldfish can grow very, very big in a pond. So it kills me to lose them to the murderous Egrets and Herons that frequent these shores. Don't they find enough fish in the sea?
They are LOSER HUNTERS that's what they are. Outcasts of the Bird Kingdom. Incapable of fishing from the bounty of the sea, they prey on smaller ponds where the pickings are easy. They're a disgrace to the hardy birds that hunt and fish legally and ethically in the sea.
Now I've also written about the ducks that come in out of a neighboring pond and swim in my pool. Birds in general give me a hard time. I've written about Psychobird and he still hates me. Scroll down under the Bad Birds of Our Time link and you can read all about his wiry little self.
They are everywhere, these birds and we can't get away from 'em. This is your Memorial Day Bird Warning Post.
Last night Rick and I were sans children, so we headed over to the beach with burgers and fries and a big blanket. After we spread the blanket and got settled, Rick nudged me and pointed. And there he was, this giant Heron, on the shoreline staring into the sunset. Thought he looked kinda sad.
eck, I felt sorry for the ol' guy. How isolated and hungry he must be.
Then he turned abruptly, and glared at me. Started toward our blanket. I swear, I thought I was gonna get speared.
Instead he headed toward a group of buckets owned by a fisherman and his wife. hung around, hoping for handouts.
I feel sort of guilty, you know?
Regardless of what the calendar says, it is summer in Florida. The heat is making me delirious.
How many of you buy kleenex based on the way the box looks instead of the price?
What to ask instead of the 100 Things Meme:
a. Do you buy the National Enquirer?
b. Do you read it voraciously?
You can tell a lot about a person based on that answer alone. ;)
I'm just sayin.....
Also, the ducks are back. My three Good For Nothing cats haven't been able to keep them away. This picture was taken 2 months ago, shot through a pane of glass on the french doors. I think the local pond is getting overcrowded and that's why they're coming in.
I'm *this* close to buying a cheesy fake owl to put outside. All the docks around here have owls on the dock post to keep the birds off, so maybe it would keep them out of my pool and my pond also.
The fat cat on the left is the Great Rico Suave, adopted from the shelter a few years ago. But so far, he hasn't earned his keep. I think his blubber is what keeps him from being a mighty warrior. Notice the one duck looking at him. Duck knows the cat isn't going to charge, go airborne and do a belly flop into a pool of water. So they just kept swimming... round and round they go.
Rico was so mad.
Seff, our resident photographer extraordinaire, sent me this photo this morning. I already knew the Egret Army was about to invade because I took a picture of one on Tuesday, and it was sitting on my roof, looking down at the pond.
'course, MY picture, (i'll publish it later,) is not as good as this one is.. my gawd. just how Seff was able to capture that bird in flight is beyond me.
Great photography, Seff :)
See more of his work by clicking on the link in the sidebar.
<---------------- Well look who strolled in today just as casually as you please. DO I NOT HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITH BIRDS AROUND HERE?? She has certainly made herself at home this afternoon. I went outside to clean the pool and after a few minutes I heard a splash. Turned around to see this duck swimming around in circles. She's been camping outside on the deck ever since.
We also have one Very Angry Kitty, Rico wants this duck with a passion. He was outside on the deck with me when I was getting the net ready to clean the pool and his eyes got very wide when he saw the duck. I had to chase him clear across the yard to try to catch him. Samantha finally caught him later on and stuck him in the house, where he protested for another hour before going to sleep. Samantha wants to keep it, which will NEVER happen. I've already had to hose off the duck duck doo and I have no intention allowing it to continue. I'll be letting Buddy out shortly, after Brittany gets a chance to see him when she gets home from school.
There are two large ponds outside of a subdivision near me, I think she came in from there. Time to go back home Lucy.
Update: Here's something I bet you didn't know about ducks. They can stand in one spot without moving for the entire time it takes to make a complete taco dinner. I thought only cats could stand stationary for such a long period of time
.
By the time dinner was over with and an hour had gone by, I couldn't take it any more. I had three complaining housebound cats inside that wanted OUT in no uncertain terms. Meanwhile the duck WOULD NOT LEAVE and everytime I sent Buddy outside after it, she'd simply slip into the pool and then Buddy would run around the pool in circles barking up a storm. This didn't faze the duck NONE. (pardon my grammar).
And everytime I chased her off she'd simply jump in the pool. I turned the hose on her when she was in the back yard, but of course she loved that and simply stood there enjoying the "waterfall".
Rick and I finally got a net intending to scoop it up and take it to a nearby pond. As soon as we went outside with a throughly excited Buddy, the dumb duck finally took stock of the situation and flew away, high over our heads and over the house.
We haven't seen her since.
<------------ THIS BIRD
ATE MY FISH!!!
He wandered into the yard this morning around 7:00 a.m. Look how casually he strolled in, fully intent on helping himself to breakfast from my pond. For the next half hour I was engaged in a battle between trying to get dressed and running outside to chase him away. I had a noisemaker to scare him off: an empty coke can filled with a few coins and taped shut and I would throw it in his direction. He would fly to the roof next door and wait for me to go back in the house. Then he'd come again.
I sent Buddy after him 3 times and that didn't work either.
Now look how arrogant he is. It's about 7:30a.m. and he knows his beak is bigger then my Good For Nothing Cats, who were NOT around to defend the pond from the Enemy.
I went out to the shed to find some wood to cover part of the pond to give the fish more shelter. They have a crate to swim inside of, but this morning, they just swam to and fro, without a care in the world.
I need to get a color-coded terror alert system for them.
The wood had spiders all over it and some disgusting bugs and I couldn't bring myself to pick it up. I wish I had. I improvised and covered part of the pond with a big surf board, hoping the fish would swim under it and hide.
Around 7:30 a.m I noticed some commotion going on near the pond, and just like that, he stole my fish. Buddy and I chased him out of the yard but it was too late. He flew across the street and took his sweet time, just STANDING on the roof so I could watch him eat the fish. He even posed long enough for me to go back in and get my camera, that's how conniving he is. Look at him posing with his trophy fish.
If you double click, you can see how big the fish was. (I dont have a good zoom on my camera).
I bought these goldfish 12 for a dollar when they were barely 2" long. Look how big they grew in that pict! I am sooo mad. If I ever get my hands on his scrawny little neck... ..
Some of you know all about Samantha's psycho-bird, a 2 year old cockatiel that hates everyone in the family except for Brittany. Whenever he's released from his cage, he'll fly around the house in search of her. Once he finds her, he'll perch on her shoulder and sing and chortle for all he's worth. 'course, this is hard on Sam. It's her bird, after all, and she's the one that cleans its cage, feeds and waters and make sure he has plenty of toys and exercise. And yet he still flies to Brittany without fail.
Over the past two years, I too, have tried to make peace with this creature. Since he squawks relentlessly, I thought it would be good to teach him to talk instead. Every morning I head to his cage and lift the sheet that covers it up and sing " ~Gooood Morning Psychobird!~".
I call him that because it fits, even though it isn't his real name. He is just as mean as all get out. He bites, screeches and attacks whenever you come near his cage.
But I figured if he could learn to talk, then he'd feel a little more secure in our human world and he'd be proud to tell us what he thought of it all. So in addition to the good morning ritual, I talk to him often, but I never get more from him then a nasty sounding "BAWKKK!"
Well, my mom wrote to my cousin, who raises birds out in California and asked for his advice on what to do. He wrote back a long letter of suggestions and went on to say that birds have a pecking order, and that they need to feel part of a "flock", as it were. Our family was a flock to him, and it was important that he realize his place in the pecking order too. He needed to understand that he was not the "head bird" here. And it was equally important that he realize that he was part of OUR flock, we weren't part of HIS flock. Am I making sense here.
Last night we got together to act on a few of my cousin's suggestions. I was hoping we'd teach him how to talk in the process.
We assembled in the family room and Rick, as the tallest of us all, reached into the cage for the creature.
It took some doing. Bird went into attack mode immediately. He bit and hollered and flapped his wings rapidly. I was scared to death. As soon as he was free of the cage, he flew off Rick's hand and began to fly in circles around us, looking of course, for Brittany, who was sort of cringing as she stood there with her arms covering her head.
Sam took charge. The first object of the Flock Family Order was to clip his wings so he wouldn't feel the urge to fly away.
Unfortunately what happened next ..... oh man.
She was able to convince him to land on her arm for less then a moment, before he bit her finger and flew off.
He headed to the kitchen and landed on top of the fridge. Sam went in after him, coaxing him to come back to her. They have a hand signal they use, the two of them.. and slowly he made his way to her her outstretched arm
She reached up to stroke him.
and at that moment, he turned nasty again. Bit her hard on the nose and flew away, landing on Brittany.
Brittany had enough, her sister was bleeding and all of us were looking a little frazzled. She headed into the kitchen to give the bird back to Sam... "try it again", she said.
WELL....
the bird would have none of that. Brittany had turned traitor on him, and so he turned on HER, flapping his wings wildly and screeching up a storm. Oh My Word. And before I could reach her, he bit her hard. And drew blood.
Brittany let out a yell and at that moment, I'd had enough, grabbed the freaking bird, yanked open the freezer door and THREW his lil bird body in there.
Sam started screaming "NO, MOMMY!!!!!" and even Britt was yelling "WAIT, WAIT", and there they are, both full of scratches and bleeding too.
I waited a moment, looking at them, trying to get my heart to stop pounding so hard.
"Alright," I said to Sam. "Go ahead and let him out. that'll teach the dumb bird a lesson." and I stepped aside.
So she opens the door and pulls out a very stunned, frozen little cockatiel.
Slips him onto her arm again.
Pscyhobird looks at her a moment and then:
"I'm sorry I bit you" he says..
and all of our mouths dropped open.
Then he nodded to the freezer and looked back at Sam again and said: "May I ask what the turkey did?"
.
(snicker)
(yes I changed this around from that old internet joke. and don't you love a good panther story too???)lol
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